I happily made it to the library just in time before the last snowstorm to stock up on readable, watchable, and listenable materials. Our small suburban branch of a large county library system is fairly mediocre, so I don’t expect to find much when I go, but this time I discovered that they carry Interweave Knits magazine, so I checked out the whole lot.
I settled in to read a few, only to immediately turn to a defiled page.
Though I consider myself a feminist, I am not without humor, and I quite like occasional trashy bawdy bits. But this? I sort of feel like a knitting magazine is the equivalent of a women’s college – I will be safe, protected from the predatory male, accepted and uplifted by my peers, and free to not care how I present myself.* So I felt a bit shocked to see it. But then I realized it just really doesn’t make sense – why would she say “Pop ’em out?” Is she saying that to someone else in the room? Is she speaking to another person about his pop-out-ables, or another lady about her’s? Or should it have said, “Would you like me to pop them out?”
It is unclear.
And the writing is a bit shaky, which could suggest that the author is a man with a G.I.’s racy sense humor from the Greatest Generation (as there are many older folks around here).**
Does it seem a little less creepy that it’s probably from an old dude, or more?
I pondered that while I flipped some more pages, until I was stopped again.
This has no ambiguity.
Anyway, it sets my blood to boil when people deface library materials…
So wanting to clear my mind, I chose some different reading material that took me back in time to the days when the author of the graffiti may have been a wee thing.
I had some bad news lately – nothing involving death, illness, or further financial ruin, but soul-crushing in its own way, so I soothed it with a very minor ebay shopping spree of a couple of lots of vintage knitting magazines (that I got for a song). Included with them were more issues of Minerva which I added to my growing collection.
But what do we have here?
A very demonic baby shouting commands…
I agree with the sentiment – I find no reason to merely sit, you should at least be doing something – be it reading or knitting or whittling. But the ugly little thing kept alternating between yelling at me and feigning sympathy with my potential knitting frustrations page after page.
But I also don’t quite understand it either – the baby is criticizing the magazine in which it is printed/housed – essentially biting the feeding hand. Perhaps this is the beginning of the current obnoxious parenting trend of believing a young child should have say over a parent…
Then my feminist hackles began to rise once more…
I know this is minor, and over 50 years ago and thus considered “acceptable” at the time, but why must a wedding band be on the sketch of the hand demonstrating how to knit?
That’s what I say to the whole thing.
No more magazines for me – I’ll just go back to knitting.
*I know this is an inaccurate (and probably stereotypical) portrayal of women’s colleges, and I didn’t give a sh*t how I presented myself throughout my own co-educational academic career. And also I know that there are some male readers of knitting magazines and male knitwear designers, but they seem to know how to behave themselves in this largely feminine sphere…
**I guess the WWII folks aren’t so abundant anymore – I’m not keeping up with the passage of time, so the dude is more likely pre-boomer, but not by much…
2 responses to “I just wanted to read a magazine…”
This post had me dying of laughter and also slightly skeeved out because (A) I prefer not to think of my grandparents’ generation as a bunch of pervs, but, of course, there had to be some and (B) that baby is seriously scary…I think I’ll have nightmares about it trying to attack me with knitting needles.
B. Totally – I think I hear it growling… I just might have to get rid of that book!