Poisonfuckingivy

lilac in fiestaware

I love that I have a nice big yard in which to putter and prune.

I love discovering all of the things previously planted, blown in by the wind, or sown via bird ass.

I love walking barefoot outside (except when I think of ringworm).

But I utterly despise, loathe, fear, hate, wildly shake my fist at Poison Ivy.

poison ivy hell

It is everywhere.

Believe me, I looked when we first inspected the house – not a hairy perverse vine in sight – but it was winter.  Now it isn’t, and I’ve found it’s as populous as Dandelions – delicate little tendrils that snap when pulled and sink back to maniacally multiply.

poison ivy with the cedars

I am exceedingly dermatologically allergic to that leaves of three bastard.

poison ivy in groundcover

Despite the thorough and methodical precautions I took for my first attempt to remove it, it still got me…

poison ivy on house

And there is so so so much more…

poison ivy on compost

And I just might have to loose a lovely Azalea that it’s gotten way too cozy with and started naming their evil offspring…

poison ivy in azalea

 Death to Poison Ivy!!!

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4 responses to “Poisonfuckingivy

  1. Tru fax. It just won’t stop. This week I found a tree right by the barn that has a poison ivy vine growing up it that is bigger around than my arm. Holy shitballs!!! So how are you going to get rid of it? I’m at a loss for what to do. It’s in a number of the garden beds here and I don’t want to spray—but I also don’t want to risk getting it by pulling it. :/

    • Good god, I really hate those big hairy ones! I too don’t want to spray – however I broke down and bought some of the stuff for a part of the yard away from the well and garden – not sure if I can bring myself to use it though… Usually, I wear long rubber gloves over plastic grocery store bags on my arms secured with tape – very fashionable, but also uncomfortable when hot and humid. Then I pull the stuff out carefully so it doesn’t fling back on my face or body. I’ll dig out the roots a bit too, but I don’t know how to handle the big stuff without cutting it and then doing something to the exposed stump – probably chemical, but I don’t know if otherwise capping it off or messing with it with less nasty stuff could work – wax, vinegar, fat? I need to do more research! But then I scrub well with Technu afterwards which usually works well, but I also suspect I got ivy oil on my clothes and my “new” washing machine isn’t enough of a beast to get it out and I got hit from my supposedly clean clothes…. Oh, and I wash my tools afterwards too, or wipe them down with mineral spirits. Jewelweed (the little orange flower with seed pods that pop) is good to use on the rash if you get it, and it is in some of the natural poison ivy soaps out there, so maybe it removes the oil too. It grows wild all over here in the east – maybe there too?
      Good luck!

      • Katie

        I would get poison ivy so bad during childhood that each morning before school my mom had to open my eyes with a wet washcloth to wash away the pus and de-puff. I was nicknamed Medusa another time. To be more helpful, though, I’ve tried everything available for the skin rash, and finally hit on something that works for me: fels naphtha soap. Scrub up the area, let the water run over it at the hottest temperature you can stand, scrub it again, rinse, pat dry. The rash dies within two days–used to linger for weeks with me. That situation in your yard is appalling. It does seem beyond the bag-over-arms method (what we’ve used here when it appears). I hope the spray works! And that you emerge largely unscathed.

      • Thank you! I got it as a kid a lot too – they say some get less sensitive as they get older, but I don’t think they really exist… rashes so bad that turn you into mythological creatures on the other hand, do.

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