I am [no longer] a statistic…

work-discouraged worker-small

I’ve just been rejected for yet another job opening – at least I’ve been making it to the final round of interviews lately though…

At first I thought I may have been discriminated against for being in my perceived peak baby-making years, but now I’ve made it to the legal category for age discrimination…

Now I hear of vocal fry as a potential reason for not being hired.

My voice doesn’t have that horrid affected one, but due to drippy sinuses and out of control GERD, I definitely sound a bit like I gargle with gravel.

(No one is pointing out that it is also possibly overcompensating for the horrid habit of up-talking in women – I’d rather hear the fry than the question that isn’t.)

I have to blame my failure to be hired on something because being a run of the mill loser is just too depressing.

I’m now in the uncounted/uncountable “discouraged worker” category of job seekers.  Though I’m (at the moment) working  nearly the limit of part-time hours, my telecommuting job is tenuous, ill-defined, and I receive absolutely no benefits.  I have been looking for a better job (in terms of stability and full-time hours for a few years now, but I love what I do now probably more than anything out there).  Now I’m only applying to those things directly in my field rather than the tangential reaches (and wastes of everyone’s time) I formerly applied to to satisfy my quota for partial unemployment (that ran out nearly two years ago anyway).

A weird thing happened during the length of my career wherein it became hip to be a geek, and thus my field was, and is, flooded with brainiacs real and imagined.

Overly large eyeglasses do not make you smart.  The only thing smart about them is that your eyes are protected from the spray of the organic handpicked heirloom ancient sprouted lemon wedge you just squirted into your craft organic heirloom ancient sprouted cocktail.

A career is not hip in itself.

A career is not trendy.

Please step aside if you just really wanted to be an investment banker but were too ashamed to admit it.  It’s okay, you can cover up your tats with your power suit and your asymmetrical hairdo will grow in.

(And I must finally and shamefully fess up that I did not get into a MFA program after working my ass off on a portfolio in the year before we moved.  Looking back, I understand – several of the pieces were weak, and should have been weeded out had I been working on the subject longer and thought things out more, but going back to school is about thinking things out more, isn’t it?)

And did I use up all of my luck when I got in (and received healthy scholarships) to all of my previous applied-to programs?

What about when I turned down that awesome and utterly stable job at that internationally recognized place eight or so years ago – did that damn me forever to failure?  (Especially since the only reason I didn’t take it was because what would have been my office didn’t have a window…)

But I think it may have been the bigger-than-life-sized stuffed koala bear I won in a drawing when I was nine – that sucked up 74% of my lifetime’s good fortune right there…

So I hang my fried greying loser head in shame, and plod on wondering if I need to go through that whole reinventing myself bullshit…



Filed under art school, unemployment

9 responses to “I am [no longer] a statistic…

  1. Pia

    It’s not been getting easier – I can’t even imagine what the job market and economy is going to look like 25 years from now (hopefully by then I won’t have to care, but I still wonder what will crash first, the markets or the people)

    • I’m worried about 25 years and more too – a woman who was clearly pushing 80 bagged my groceries the other day – I don’t want that to be me! And I don’t think she was working just for the joy of getting out the house and interacting with others… 🙂

  2. I see the world of work is just as bleak as when I left. I guess I’ll be screwed again when I return home in two years. Which is a shame because at this point, I just want to work.

    • Who knows really… There was an opening at the other biggish museum in town recently, and things have been turning over every few years, so the timing could be good? I think your overseas experience will actually help in the academic sphere too…

  3. This is going on in my house now, too. Sending good job mojo your way.

  4. Katie

    Ugh, I understand you on the job front… As for vocal fry in young(er) women, listen to act two of this TAL episode. I find it a helpful perspective. Maybe you’ve already heard this one? http://m.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/545/if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-say-it-in-all-caps?act=2#act-2

    • Yep, that’s where I first learned about it! I’m hearing everywhere now, and with many young men too also on NPRish podcasts – I either cringe or feel slightly sympathetic – there’s definitely a variation of the sinus sufferers!

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